Chapter Five

This week was about men and sex, and these are the main points...

Men generally want more sex than they are getting, and see this as a crisis in the relationship.

Lack of sex is as serious to him as his sudden silence would be to you, if he suddenly stopped communicating with you.

Your sexual desire for your husband greatly affects his confidence and sense of well-being in all areas of his life. Making love makes him feel more powerful, more confident, and loved.

For most men (97%), sex alone is not enough. They want to feel wanted. They need their wife to be enthusiastic and satisfied in bed.

If his wife refuses him, or sleeps with him reluctantly or out of a sense of 'duty', the husband will feel wounded and rejected as a person. He may even become depressed and withdraw from the relationship.

 

What can you do to best support your husband?

Choose to love him the way he needs you to.

Take an active role in your sexual relationship... be involved and have fun!

If you have serious problems preventing you from enjoying your sexual relationship, get help from a counselor

Make sex a priority. Even though you may feel that you are working all day taking care of your family, you may not be taking care of your husband's most important need. 

 

Here are some questions to think about...

1. How do your husband's sexual needs differ from yours? Do you think that you satisfy his sexual needs?

2. Do you ever refuse your husband sexually? How does he respond? Did you ever consider that he may feel that you are rejecting him as a person?

3. Do you make sex a priority? Are you willing to change your priorities, in order to meet his needs? 

 

Here are some questions to discuss with your husband, if you would like... choose the questions appropriate to you...

1. Do you feel satisfied sexually? If not, what can I do that would make you feel more satisfied? What is your ideal frequency of sex?

2. If I am simply too tired or distracted to be an enthusiastic partner, how does that make you feel? Is there a way that I can communicate my inability without making you feel rejected as a person?

3. (If you feel simply too exhausted to meet your husband's sexual needs) Are there some things that I am spending my time and energy on that are not, in your mind, a high priority? Or, would you be willing to take responsibility for some jobs around the home so that I would have more time and energy for making love?