Teaching our kids to pray

Hello again wonder moms!

It's been a while since I posted something here, so I thought I'd let you know what we've been up to recently, especially for those of you who have not been able to join us in person!

We have been talking through a book called 'The Mom You're Meant to Be', by Cheri Fuller. The chapters are quite short and bring up a few practical tips about how to be a better Christian mom to your kids. Last week at the club we talked about how to pray for your kids and how to teach your kids to pray. The book we are reading suggested 4 tips for teaching your kids to pray...

1. Be an example of someone who prays. Ask your kids to pray with you when a need comes up. Let them see that prayer is your first response to difficulties, not your last.

2. Help your kids to see things around them as visual aids to prayer. (as an example, when you see an ambulance, pray for the one in it, and for others you know who are sick)

3. Pray conversationally. Instead of memorizing prayers, or using big words, talk to God as you would talk to any other person. Use language that your kids can understand.

4. Ground your prayers in God's Word. Help your kids to see how to use the Bible to help them pray. This will also help them to learn God's Word!

I have pasted below a few Bible verses that I have found helpful with my kids in various situations (like when Sam was afraid of the dark when he went to bed, or when Sam and Lili are not nice to each other) Sometimes we have talked about these verses, sometimes memorized them, and I've often prayed them with or for my kids . It really does help.

OK, that's it for today!

Happy Children's Day to all, and we will hope to see you again the first Monday in June!

Verses for Kids

When they’re afraid:

Proverbs 3:24     “When you lie down you will not be afraid; When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet”

Psalm 4:8            “I will lie down and sleep in peace, For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Isaiah 41:10         “Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Deut.31:8            “The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; Do not be discouraged.”

When they need encouragement with their behaviour:

Eph.4:32             “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Gal. 6:10              “Whenever we have the chance, let us do good to all people.”

Heb 13:16            “And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”

Mat. 7:12             “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

Col.3:20              “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”

Other verses:

Psalm 139:13-14 “For you created my inmost being: You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that very well.”

Psalm 24:1          “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it.”

Mat 6:9-13          “This, then, is how you should pray:

                             Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name,

                             Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.

                             Give us this day our daily bread.

                             Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

                             And lead us not into temptation,

                             But deliver us from evil,

                             For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever, Amen.

1 Tim 6:15            “...God (is) the blessed controller of all things; He is the king of kings and Lord of lords...”

Romans 8:28      “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

You're Invited to a Birthday Party!

Hello sweet mommies and babies!

I wanted to let you know that you are invited to a birthday party next Monday morning! What am I talking about? Let me tell you...

This week we talked about these questions...

What does Christmas mean to you?

How do you celebrate Christmas?

Does the way you celebrate match with the meaning of Christmas?

Would it seem odd to you if we all had a birthday party for you, took time off of work to prepare for it weeks ahead, cleaned the house and cooked up a nice meal, and then didn't invite you, or even mention you at the party? And yet that's often just what we do at Christmas!

I read a short story about a 3 year old boy who asked his mom what Christmas was and she answered that it was Jesus' birthday. The boy was excited, and answered quickly, 'Then we should have a birthday party with cake and candles and sing 'Happy Birthday'! ' The mom said, 'OK, we will', and their family has had a birthday party for Jesus every year since, for more than 50 years now. At the party, each family member answers 2 questions...

What are you most thankful for from the past year?

What present are you going to give to Jesus in the year ahead?

Of course, the present will look very different from person to person, but I encourage you to think about these 2 questions yourself. We agreed that we too will have a birthday party for Jesus at the next Baba Mama club, and we will talk about these 2 questions together.

I really hope that you can come!!!! Please let me know, so that we are sure to have enough birthday cake for everyone! :)

Chapter Nine

We made it! Our last chapter, chapter 9!

But before I go on, I wanted to pass on a little information. On Monday I mentioned a Christian film that I saw last week about saving a marriage that was in trouble. In English it is called 'Fireproof', but I found it online in Hungarian, and you can watch it for free! If you are interested, here is the link...

http://www.nicelife.hu/galeria/film/fireproof.php

There is also have a book called 'The Love Dare', which they talk about in the movie, if any of you are interested in taking on the 'dare'.

 

OK, the last chapter, 'Words for your Heart', looked at what men most want their wives to know. Here are the 2 main points...

When asked, 'What is he one thing that you wish your wife knew, but you feel that you can't explain to her?', 32% of men answered, 'I wish she knew how much I love her.' This was by far the top answer.

The other main point was this: Behind every great man is a great woman. The wife has a huge influence on just how 'great' our husband will become.

 

Here are some questions to think about...

1. How do you think your husband would answer the above question? In what way does he try to show you (or tell you) that he loves you?

2. Are you doing your best to help your husband to become 'great'? What more could you be doing?

3. How are you training your children to be great wives and husbands in the future? 

 

Here are some questions to discuss with your husband if you like...

1. I want to support you in becoming all that God intends you to become. What one thing can I commit to do that would most make you feel supported?

2. How do you think we can best train our children to be great wives and husbands in the future? 

 

Congratulations!!! You made it through to the end of the book! I hope you have found this time helpful in building your marriage more into the one it was meant to be! I think God really does want us to have a more joy-filled life than we so often do! And our marriage is such a HUGE part of that joy, not only for us, but also for our children.

Chapter Eight

Here comes chapter 8! The truth about the way you look. This chapter looks at an issue that most men do not want to talk with their wives about, because they are afraid of hurting their feelings. However, most men said it is in fact very important to them. Here are the main points...

Most men really want us to make an effort to look nice. We do NOT have to be tiny and perfect, we just have to try our best. (like we want our men to try to be romantic... it doesn't have to be perfect, we just want them to try!)

Men feel loved if we try to look nice for them. They feel unloved if we don't.

Men are drawn to a woman who tries to look nice. They need to see that we care about keeping their attention on us, and off of other women.

Men want to be proud of their wife's appearance in front of others. This includes both how she looks and how she behaves... how confident she is.

Most men would do whatever it takes (money, time, watching the kids, etc.) to help his wife make this effort.

 

What can you do to best support your husband?

Be willing to try your best to keep in shape and to look nice for him (and to help him keep his eyes on you instead of others)

Ask God for help, if you need it. Pray about it until you have peace.

If you feel led to make some changes, tell your husband about what you would like to do, and (if you need it) ask him if he will help

 

Here are some questions to think about...

1. Do you feel that a woman's appearance should matter to her husband? Why or why not?

2. Do you think God cares about your appearance? your health? Do you think God is pleased with how you take care of yourself?

3. Do you think your husband is happy with the effort you make to look nice? Are you?

 

The author encourages us NOT to talk with our husband about this chapter, since he most likely will not feel that it is possible to be honest without hurting your feelings. Just trust her that a HUGE majority of men in her surveys agreed that this was important, so most likely we can assume it is important to our man too.

Chapter Seven

You've been waiting anxiously for your chapter 7 update I know ;) ...well here it comes! Men and Romance... Here are the main points...

Men enjoy and want romance

Men sometimes find different things romantic than we do (eg. sports, hiking, playing together, etc. instead of a candlelight dinner) Many men find a woman who will 'play' with them incredibly attractive.

Men may hesitate to plan romantic events because of fear of failure, especially if their efforts in the past have not been appreciated. They may feel that they are risking humiliation, which is a big risk when respect is so important to them.

Almost all men said that they need to unwind in some way when they get home from work (this may mean talking about their work day, or watching tv, or just having some quiet alone time, etc.) before they can think of being a romantic loving husband

Most men do not think romance is complete without sex

Many men feel pushed aside when children come along, or even pushed aside by their wife's list of jobs to do. This leads to less quality/romantic time together, which can be damaging to the relationship.

 

What can you do to best support your husband?

Recognize and encourage his efforts at romance (even if romance looks different to him)

Give him some time to unwind when he gets home from work, if he needs it.

Let him know what things you find romantic, without giving him directions

Keep him as your number one priority, before your list of jobs, and even before your kids (as much as you are able)

 

Here are some questions to think about...

1. Would you like to see more romance in your relationship? Do you think your husband would?

2. What kind of things do you think your husband finds romantic? How do you respond when he suggests doing these things?

3. Does your husband need some time to unwind when he gets home from work? How does he do that? Do you give him the time he needs?

3. Has your relationship with your husband gotten better or worse since having children? Is your husband still your top priority? How can you show him that he is?

 

Here are some questions to discuss with your husband...

1. What kind of things do you find romantic? Do you think we have enough romance in our relationship? If not, what kind of things would you like to do more often?

2. Do you feel like I encourage you romantically, or discourage you? How?

3. Do you feel that our relationship has changed since having children? In what way? (If romance has disappeared somewhat, what practical steps could we take to make more time for romance?)

Chapter Six

OK, Finally! Here is our summary of chapter 6... What it means that men are 'visual'. Here are the main points...

Men (even if they are happily married) are instinctively pulled to look at attractive women. It is impossible for them (98% of them) to not want to look. Even if a man fights this instinct to look at a woman, he is strongly aware of her presence.

Images or 'pictures' of women are often stored in a man's mind and can pop into their thoughts at any time, whether wanted or not. These images are often sensual images that may be from their own real life experiences, or from TV, magazines, the computer, etc.

Every man's instinct is to enjoy the feelings that come with these thoughts and images. But every man can make a choice to continue to think about the thoughts and images, or to dismiss them. This choice is what separates temptation from sin. Most church-going men take this choice seriously and about half of them work hard every day to avoid or dismiss these images. Men who do not go to church are less likely to make this choice.

The desire to look at beautiful women is not always a sexual attraction. Sometimes men just admire the beauty of a woman like they would admire the beauty of a painting.

The desire to look at other women has nothing to do with your husband's feelings for you, and does not mean that he is not attracted to you. Many men hate the fact that these images pop into their minds just as much as we do!

 

What can you do to best support your husband?

Pray for him and for your marriage.

Accept your husband's struggle and try to encourage him instead of accuse him.

Encourage him to have a male friend keep him accountable if necessary.

Let him know that you want to help, and are willing to talk about it.

Think about how you are dressing. Are you tempting other men to dishonour their wives?

 

Here are some questions to think about...

1. What is this culture like for men? How often do they see women (real or images) that would draw their attention in an inappropriate way?

2. What is the difference between temptation and sin? How can I accept that my husband is tempted, and at the same time encourage him not to sin?

3. Do I make a safe environment for my husband to talk about these struggles? Would it make me feel insecure if he admitted this kind of a struggle to me?

4. Am I causing other men to dishonour their wives by the way I dress or behave? Am I encouraging any other women I know to do so? 

 

Here are some questions to discuss with your husband, if you would like...

1. Do you ever notice/think about pretty women that you see in real life or in pictures? How often? What happens after you notice them? (Does the thought go any further?)

2. Do you feel free to share your thoughts and struggles with me in this area? If not, what can I do to make you feel more 'safe'?

3. Is there anything that makes you feel more or less tempted to look at or think about these 'pictures'? (eg. when you are tired, alone, hungry, bored?) Is there anything I can do to help you in this struggle?

Chapter Five

This week was about men and sex, and these are the main points...

Men generally want more sex than they are getting, and see this as a crisis in the relationship.

Lack of sex is as serious to him as his sudden silence would be to you, if he suddenly stopped communicating with you.

Your sexual desire for your husband greatly affects his confidence and sense of well-being in all areas of his life. Making love makes him feel more powerful, more confident, and loved.

For most men (97%), sex alone is not enough. They want to feel wanted. They need their wife to be enthusiastic and satisfied in bed.

If his wife refuses him, or sleeps with him reluctantly or out of a sense of 'duty', the husband will feel wounded and rejected as a person. He may even become depressed and withdraw from the relationship.

 

What can you do to best support your husband?

Choose to love him the way he needs you to.

Take an active role in your sexual relationship... be involved and have fun!

If you have serious problems preventing you from enjoying your sexual relationship, get help from a counselor

Make sex a priority. Even though you may feel that you are working all day taking care of your family, you may not be taking care of your husband's most important need. 

 

Here are some questions to think about...

1. How do your husband's sexual needs differ from yours? Do you think that you satisfy his sexual needs?

2. Do you ever refuse your husband sexually? How does he respond? Did you ever consider that he may feel that you are rejecting him as a person?

3. Do you make sex a priority? Are you willing to change your priorities, in order to meet his needs? 

 

Here are some questions to discuss with your husband, if you would like... choose the questions appropriate to you...

1. Do you feel satisfied sexually? If not, what can I do that would make you feel more satisfied? What is your ideal frequency of sex?

2. If I am simply too tired or distracted to be an enthusiastic partner, how does that make you feel? Is there a way that I can communicate my inability without making you feel rejected as a person?

3. (If you feel simply too exhausted to meet your husband's sexual needs) Are there some things that I am spending my time and energy on that are not, in your mind, a high priority? Or, would you be willing to take responsibility for some jobs around the home so that I would have more time and energy for making love?