Chapter Seven

You've been waiting anxiously for your chapter 7 update I know ;) ...well here it comes! Men and Romance... Here are the main points...

Men enjoy and want romance

Men sometimes find different things romantic than we do (eg. sports, hiking, playing together, etc. instead of a candlelight dinner) Many men find a woman who will 'play' with them incredibly attractive.

Men may hesitate to plan romantic events because of fear of failure, especially if their efforts in the past have not been appreciated. They may feel that they are risking humiliation, which is a big risk when respect is so important to them.

Almost all men said that they need to unwind in some way when they get home from work (this may mean talking about their work day, or watching tv, or just having some quiet alone time, etc.) before they can think of being a romantic loving husband

Most men do not think romance is complete without sex

Many men feel pushed aside when children come along, or even pushed aside by their wife's list of jobs to do. This leads to less quality/romantic time together, which can be damaging to the relationship.

 

What can you do to best support your husband?

Recognize and encourage his efforts at romance (even if romance looks different to him)

Give him some time to unwind when he gets home from work, if he needs it.

Let him know what things you find romantic, without giving him directions

Keep him as your number one priority, before your list of jobs, and even before your kids (as much as you are able)

 

Here are some questions to think about...

1. Would you like to see more romance in your relationship? Do you think your husband would?

2. What kind of things do you think your husband finds romantic? How do you respond when he suggests doing these things?

3. Does your husband need some time to unwind when he gets home from work? How does he do that? Do you give him the time he needs?

3. Has your relationship with your husband gotten better or worse since having children? Is your husband still your top priority? How can you show him that he is?

 

Here are some questions to discuss with your husband...

1. What kind of things do you find romantic? Do you think we have enough romance in our relationship? If not, what kind of things would you like to do more often?

2. Do you feel like I encourage you romantically, or discourage you? How?

3. Do you feel that our relationship has changed since having children? In what way? (If romance has disappeared somewhat, what practical steps could we take to make more time for romance?)